


Worthy

by MirandaRoseOfSkywall (lostinmymindforever)



Category: Warcraft (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 01:10:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7597540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinmymindforever/pseuds/MirandaRoseOfSkywall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You lookin’ for a little company?”</p><p>Lothar hears the voice come from the alleyway. He knows he shouldn’t stop, that he should ignore the voice, and yet something in the tone makes him pause. He turns his head, peering into the alley to see who had spoken, and sees a young man leaning against the wall. The kid looks barely older than Callan, and Lothar wants to pretend he didn’t hear him, but he can see the young man knows he has Lothar’s attention. “No. I don’t.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worthy

**Author's Note:**

> While the rape in this fic is not shown it is discussed in detail.
> 
> Also in this AU Prostitution is completely legal

“You lookin’ for a little company?”

Lothar hears the voice come from the alleyway. He knows he shouldn’t stop, that he should ignore the voice, and yet something in the tone makes him pause. He turns his head, peering into the alley to see who had spoken, and sees a young man leaning against the wall. The kid looks barely older than Callan, and Lothar wants to pretend he didn’t hear him, but he can see the young man knows he has Lothar’s attention. “No. I don’t.”

“Shame, coulda shown you a good time,” the kid purrs, letting his hand rest on his crotch.

Lothar shakes his head and keeps walking, heading home, thoughts of the young man’s face flitting through his head.

He’s not sure why he walks by the same alleyway the following night, and the next few nights. This wasn’t his usual route home, in fact it’s actually a bit out of his way, and yet… After a week he finally hears the voice once more.

“You lookin’ for a little company?”

Lothar feels himself nod and nervously licking his lips. He watches as the boy steps out of the alleyway, and thinks to himself that he looks even younger than he remembered. The boy prowls towards him, that is the only way Lothar can describe the boy’s movements, and Lothar feels his pulse begin to race. ‘What am I doing?’ he thinks as the boy reaches him.

“So where you wanna do this?” the boy asks, and Lothar knows he needs to find out the kid’s name, or whatever he calls himself, because using the words boy and kid to describe him just doesn’t feel right.

“My place isn’t that far…” he trails off, the unasked question of what he should call the boy lingering in the air.

“Khadgar, you can call me Khadgar. And what are you called? I wanna know what name to call out while you’re fucking me”

“Lothar, Anduin Lothar, but everyone just calls me Lothar.”

“Mmm, I like it,” Khadgar purred, moving even closer into Lothar’s personal space.

Lothar swallowed hard and turned to start heading to his place. He didn’t have a clue why he was doing this, this was unlike him, and yet right now he couldn’t think of anything he’d rather be doing.

Khadgar followed Lothar closely, his eyes traveling over the older man’s body as they walked. Normally he didn’t go to his clients homes for their sessions, hell normally he would have just named off his prices and gotten on with it then and there, but something about Lothar was different. It wasn’t just his looks, even though Khadgar had to admit Lothar was a very attractive man. There was just something about Lothar that Khadgar couldn’t put his finger on.

Lothar’s hands were shaking a bit as he walked up his front porch and went to unlock the door. He’d never done anything like this in his life. He was a respectable member of society, at least that’s what he had always been. He was a military veteran, brother in law to the city mayor, worked as a self-defense instructor for homeless youth, and here he was bringing a hopefully legal age hooker to his home. “How old are you?”

“Does it matter?” Khadgar said with a grin, pushing off the door-frame he’d been leaning on.

Lothar shook his head, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“I’m 18. And no I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. I really am 18, since two weeks ago, but still...”

“Fuck,” Lothar whispered, running a hand over his face. He didn’t know what he was doing, he felt dirty and they hadn’t even done anything yet.

“Mmm, that’s the plan,” Khadgar purred, stopping in front of Lothar and dropping to his knees. He nuzzled at Lothar’s crotch, feeling the man harden in his pants. “This for me?” he asked rhetorically. Before Lothar could answer him Khadgar had his hands working on opening Lothar’s belt and began to open the man’s pants. Part of him was asking what he was doing, they hadn’t even discussed price yet and here he was about to give the man a blow job.

“How much?” and there was something so almost innocent in Lothar’s voice that Khadgar almost said free, but that wouldn’t make sense from a business prospective.

“$10 for a hand job, $20 for a blow job with a condom, $30 for a blow job without a condom, $75 to fuck me with a condom, $150 to fuck me without a condom, $600 for the night and you can pretty much do whatever you want with me, $1200 for the night if you want overly kinky.”

Lothar licked his lips, knowing what he was going to say, “$600. I think that will be what I go for.”

Khadgar looked up at the man. He was actually surprised that he was paying for a full night, most people didn’t, in fact he’d only ever had two people want him for an entire night, and the second one was why he had the $1200 price point. He watched as Lothar pulled out his wallet and began to pull the money out, and stopped him, “You can pay me in the morning.”

Lothar just nodded, letting his wallet fall from his hands as Khadgar worked his pants down his hips. He was so hard already, and Khadgar had barely done anything to him yet. He let out a curse as he felt Khadgar’s lips wrap around his cock, and found his fingers moving to thread into the boy’s hair.

Khadgar took Lothar into his mouth completely, letting the hard length settle on his tongue, swallowing around the head. It was no lie that he’d given a lot of blow jobs in his days and knew just how to make a man come quickly, but he also knew how to draw things out. He heard the soft curse Lothar made and decided he wanted to make this last. What shocked him was the fact that he was getting hard while sucking Lothar’s cock, usually he had to stroke himself into hardness, if his client wanted him hard that is, and most of the time they didn’t care less if Khadgar got off or not.

Lothar’s knees felt weak, and he knew that if this continued here he’d end up collapsing to the floor. “Wanna take this to the bedroom?” he asked, nodding in the direction of his bedroom.

Khadgar pulled off of Lothar’s cock with a wet plop, kissing the head before getting to his feet, “Lead the way.”

Lothar heard a little voice in the back of his head whisper, “What are you doing?” as he led Khadgar to his bedroom. He’d never been more glad that his son was off at college than he was in that moment as they passed Callan’s bedroom before reaching his own. He felt somewhat ridiculous, his pants around his thighs, cock out, hard and shiny with Khadgar’s spit, and yet at the same time he was more turned on than he could ever remember being.

Khadgar let his gaze travel as they walked to Lothar’s room. It was obvious by the bedroom they passed that Lothar had a kid and Khadgar distantly wondered where he or she was, but didn’t let those thoughts distract him too much. He was too turned on and wanted to have Lothar in whatever way the man wanted.

Lothar paused when they reached his bed, again feeling embarrassed, he’d never done anything like this before, and had you told him even a week ago that he’d be in this situation he would have laughed at you and called you a liar. And yet, here he was, about to have sex with a prostitute, a barely legal, male prostitute.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Khadgar said, getting into Lothar’s personal space. He could tell the man was nervous found it oddly endearing, “We’ll go at your own pace. I promise we won’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

“I’ve never done this,” Lothar confessed, “any of this. Never been with a prostitute, never been with a guy, I… fuck… it’s been a while.”

Khadgar grinned, “First times are always nerve wracking. Let me take care of you.”

Lothar nodded, licking his lips nervously. How had his life come to this? The last person he’d been with was his wife, and she had died before their son was a year old. He allowed Khadgar to gently push him until he was seated on the edge of the bed, and watched as once more Khadgar dropped to his knees and took him into his mouth. Once more he found himself cursing, letting his fingers mess up Khadgar’s hair.

Khadgar had to admit, even in the privacy of his own head, that he’d do this for free. Something about Lothar just made him feel like he was something more than just a prostitute, that he was cared for. He tried to banish those thoughts, forcing himself back into work mode as he went out of his way to bring Lothar to orgasm.

Lothar cursed, his breaths becoming shallow as he edged closer to his orgasm. When Khadgar ran his teeth ever so lightly over the length of his cock it was over and Lothar came with a choked off cry of Khadgar’s name.

Khadgar felt himself blush, something he didn’t even know he could do anymore. No one, not even his regular clients, had ever called out his name when they’d come. Mostly it was just “boy” or “pet” or “baby” or a handful of other nicknames, though many times it was silent, or the name of who they really wished was doing things to them. To have someone use his name, to hear it called out with such truthful abandon, made something in him swell. He had to keep reminding himself that this was work, that it didn’t mean anything.

Lothar pulled Khadgar up onto the bed with him, giving a content little sigh as the boy straddled his thighs. The rough texture of Khadgar’s jeans rubbing against his skin made him moan a bit. He cupped Khadgar’s face in his hands and kissed the boy, a spark of arousal surging within him at the taste of his own come in Khadgar’s mouth.

‘This is new,’ Khadgar thought as he was kissed. Again this was something that none of his clients had ever done before. It was too personal for them, he assumed, but the almost innocent abandon with which Lothar threw himself into this had Khadgar seeing stars. He allowed Lothar to kiss him for as long as the man wanted to, feeling Lothar grow hard once more beneath him.

Lothar was surprised when he got hard again as fast as he had, but thought that maybe it had something to do with the young man who was slowly rocking against him. He pulled back, just long enough to whisper, “We’re both wearing too much clothing.”

Khadgar rose from Lothar’s lap, quickly stripping out of his clothing. He licked his lips as he watched the older man undress, noticing the scars that covered his body. It was obvious that the man had a history, and part of Khadgar wanted to learn where each and every single scar had come from. But Khadgar knew that wasn’t his place, this was a job, a startlingly unusual job to say the least, but still a job.

Lothar let his gaze travel over Khadgar’s body, licking his lips in appreciation. He smiled, pulling the boy closer to himself, gasping a little at skin on skin contact. It was different, being naked in bed with another male, but Lothar found he was enjoying it quite a lot. Again his nervousness poked its head up, and he confessed, “I don’t know what to do. Show me?”

Khadgar nodded, a smile coming to his face, “Of course. Anything you ask of me.”

“I want to make you feel good,” Lothar said in that same quiet voice.

Khadgar’s cock twitched at those words. He could hear the naked honesty of them, could tell that Lothar meant every single word and that fact turned him on more than he thought was possible. When had been the last time anyone had wanted to make him feel good, had had his pleasure in mind? He couldn’t remember actually. He ended up merely nodding, allowing Lothar to kiss him once more.

Lothar found himself growing addicted to the taste of Khadgar’s lips, even though he knew that he shouldn’t. This was only for the night and if he didn’t watch himself he’d end up falling for the young man in his bed and end up breaking his own heart in the process.

Khadgar let himself pretend, even for a little bit, that this wasn’t a job, that it was just two people wanting to be together. He smiled against Lothar’s lips, rocking against the older man’s body, loving the way Lothar’s cock felt on his skin. He knew Lothar probably didn’t have any lube so he climbed off of Lothar’s lap and went to grab the small bottle he kept in his jacket.

Lothar watched as Khadgar bent over to grab something out of his jacket, letting himself appreciate the sight, half wondering just what the young man was getting. When he saw the bottle of lube he blushed, and suddenly this all became startlingly real. He was going to have sex with Khadgar, he was going to have sex with another man, and that thought made his pulse quicken. “What do I do?”

Khadgar smirked, “Just watch me.” He climbed back onto the bed, turning to face away from Lothar. After pouring some lube onto his fingers he reached behind himself, teasing his rim with them for a moment before slowly entering himself with one finger. It was true he didn’t need much prep, in fact his was still a little slick with lube from the encounter he had had with his most recent client, and that fact made him feel a twinge of shame for some reason, but he was doing this for Lothar. He could feel Lothar’s eyes on him as he slowly thrust the finger in and out of himself, pausing only to add a second finger to the mix.

Lothar’s eyes never left Khadgar’s fingers as the boy worked himself open. The sight was erotic. He could hear the way Khadgar’s breath quickened as he fucked himself with his own fingers and it turned him on in a way that he hadn’t known was possible. He needed to touch Khadgar, and reached out a hand, letting it run slowly over Khadgar’s ass.

Khadgar moaned when he felt Lothar’s hand on him, the man was practically petting him and it felt nice in a way that was distracting. He pulled his fingers out of his body, pouring more lube onto them and then grabbed Lothar’s hand, pouring some of the slick liquid onto the thick digits.

Lothar knew what Khadgar was asking of him and when the boy returned his fingers to his ass Lothar let his own join them. Khadgar was hot to the touch, and even this, just having his finger inside of Khadgar’s body like this, sent shocks of pleasure down his spine. He could feel Khadgar guiding him with his fingers and then heard the breathy gasp as his finger came across something that felt different.

“That’s my prostate,” Khadgar half moaned, eyes closing in pleasure when he felt Lothar give it an exploratory little touch. “Fuck. Okay, I’m ready.”

Lothar looked at Khadgar and knew the boy was probably expecting him to just take him like this, and yet something about that didn’t feel right to him. “I wanna see your face,” he requested.

Khadgar couldn’t say no to those words and moved once more. He allowed Lothar to get him where he wanted him and spread his legs wide. Crooking a finger at Lothar he said, “Come here.”

Lothar moved between Khadgar’s spread legs, licking his lips a bit at the sight in front of him. He felt Khadgar’s legs wrap around his waist, the boy’s heels locking behind his ass, and felt himself being dragged forward. Slowly he entered Khadgar’s body, giving a moan of pleasure when he was fully inside. It felt so good, so right, and Lothar allowed himself to pretend that this was something more than it was. “So good, Khadgar,” he moaned as he began to move.

Khadgar felt emotions he couldn’t allow himself to feel start flooding his mind. Damn Lothar for being like this, for treating him like more than just a body to fuck. He knew how to deal with that, knew what was expected of him. But this? Khadgar had no idea how to deal with something like this. “Lothar,” he heard himself say, a damn if his voice sounded somehow foreign to his own ears.

Lothar couldn’t help himself, he leaned down and kissed Khadgar. The boy seemed so confused right now, and Lothar couldn’t help but wonder if he himself was the cause of that confusion. Finally he whispered against Khadgar’s lips, his hips still moving slowly as he fucked Khadgar, “What’s wrong?”

Khadgar took a deep breath, trying to word his thoughts in the correct manner, “I don’t know. Never been like this before.”

Those words broke Lothar’s heart. He closed his eyes, wanting to hurt everyone who had used the young man under him, and wondered just where these possessive feelings were coming from. “Do you want me to stop?”

Khadgar could tell that Lothar had strained to voice those words and shook his head almost violently, “No. Don’t stop. It’s good, just not used to it.”

Lothar cupped the side of Khadgar’s face in his hand. He wished he knew what was going on in the boy’s mind right now, though part of him knew that he probably really didn’t. Lothar knew what this was, even if he was pretending that they were lovers and that this wasn’t just an encounter between a prostitute and a client. He wished that what he was pretending this was was the truth.

Khadgar could see the play of emotions running over Lothar’s face and wanted to kick himself. He’d ruined it, ruined what was turning out to be the best night that he’d ever had. “Lothar, Anduin, please, just… stop thinking so much.”

Lothar shuddered at the way Khadgar said his name, his thrusts losing their rhythm a bit. He nodded, resting his forehead against Khadgar’s as he sped up his thrusts. He’d never felt anything quite like this, and wanted to make this last as long as possible because he knew he’d never get a second chance at this. It was different, having sex with another man, but Lothar found he liked it quite a bit, but the thought of doing this with anyone else made him feel ill a bit. So it was just Khadgar who did this to him, he thought a bit bitterly, Khadgar who had awakened this part of him, Khadgar who made him feel things he hadn’t known he could feel, Khadgar who he would never have again.

Khadgar could see Lothar starting to over-think once more and let his hands claw down Lothar’s back, distracting him from those thoughts. He kissed the other man, arching against him, and then hissed in pleasure when he felt Lothar snake a hand between them and wrap itself around his cock. He knew he wouldn’t last long, not with how Lothar made him feel, not with the way Lothar stroked him almost tenderly, and he wanted to curse the man for making him feel this way. He knew he couldn’t blame him, not really, Lothar had been an innocent to these things before Khadgar had crossed his path, he’d been the one to introduce Lothar into this life.

Lothar continued to move, his hips faltering a bit when he felt Khadgar tighten around him, when he heard the breathy gasps and moans of pleasure the boy made, when he felt Khadgar spill his seed over his hand. He groaned, his body tensing up, and then he came, filling Khadgar’s body with his seed, thrusting into the boy until he was completely soft and he slipped out of Khadgar’s body with a wet sounding pop.

Khadgar couldn’t help himself, he moved closer to Lothar, feeling the aftershocks of his orgasm running through his body. He felt so damn good, and it scared him. It scared him because he knew he’d never feel this way again. He wanted to run, wanted to hide from these feelings, and yet he stayed. He’d been asked for the entire night, and he’d give Lothar what he had asked for. For one night he’d pretend he was more than what he was.

-

Lothar wasn’t surprised when he found himself alone in bed in the morning, even though he’d fallen asleep with Khadgar in his arms. He made his way tiredly down the stairs, not bothering to get dressed before heading to the kitchen. He noticed his wallet still on the floor by the front door, and when he went to pick it up he found it completely untouched. All his cash, all his credit cards, everything was still there.

Lothar closed his eyes after he poured himself a cup of coffee, trying to understand just why Khadgar hadn’t taken his money. He decided, after he had showered and was fully awake, that he would search the boy out. He felt guilty for not paying him, guilty for not asking him to stay longer, guilty for being one more person in a long line of people to use the boy.

-

Khadgar returned to the small apartment he lived in shortly after sunrise. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked exactly as he had the day before and yet he knew deep down that he was changed. Anduin Lothar had done something to him, not intentionally, but he had changed Khadgar nevertheless. Khadgar couldn’t help but feel dirty when he looked at his calendar and noticed he had an appointment with one of his regulars, Mr. $1200. Lothar had made him feel special, like he wasn’t just a whore, and Khadgar both hated and loved him for that.

Khadgar went and took a shower, scrubbing himself until his skin was raw. He’d cried while under the water, retched, uncontrollable sobs of a broken person. He couldn’t help it, his emotions were all over the place. Somehow Lothar had touched something inside of him he hadn’t known he had and now he mourned its loss.

He got dressed, giving himself a once over in the mirror, making sure that all traces of his breakdown from in the shower were hidden, and left once more.

He wouldn’t come home for well over a week.

-

Lothar spent every night going past the alleyway he had met Khadgar in. Each night he stayed there until past midnight, and each night he returned home alone. He didn’t know why he was so intent on finding the young man, and yet he knew it was imperative he find Khadgar.

He was just about to head out for the eighth night in a row when his phone rang.

“Hello?” he asked, part of him hoping that it was Khadgar calling him, and yet he knew that was foolish.

“Anduin, Medivh’s been arrested,” it was Llane. His voice sounded angry, and to Lothar’s surprise a bit betrayed.

“What happened?”

“He hadn’t been in to work in a few days and one of my assistants went to go check up on him, because you know how Medivh gets. He found… there was this kid, younger than Callan...” Lothar can hear the hurt in Llane’s voice, “Medivh had him tied up… chained to the wall… he was bleeding, covered in bruises, cuts, bite marks… fuck… Medivh tried to claim that it was consensual, that the kid had agreed to it, but… dammit… the kid was crying. My assistant called the cops, wouldn’t leave until they got there,” Lothar can hear the anger in Llane’s voice, Llane who always tried to see the best in people, who always tried to give those in his life the benefit of doubt.

“Shit,” it’s all Lothar can say, and he feels an ever growing sense of dread creeping up in the pit of his stomach.

“They took the kid to the emergency room. He was… he was raped… not just with… they found splitters in him, Medivh… fucking bastard raped him with a wooden baseball bat. Medivh tried to justify his actions, said the kid was his boyfriend, that he’d found out he’d cheated on him, and that he was only… giving him what he deserved. Claimed the kid loved it rough, that they’d done this sort of thing a lot, that… that it was all a big misunderstanding and that the kid would verify it.”

“He didn’t I’m guessing,” it wasn’t a question. Lothar felt that sick sense of dread building even more inside of him.

“No he didn’t. From what the cops told me the kid is a prostitute, that he’d agreed to spend a night with Medivh, but Medivh got jealous because he had a mark on him from another client. He apparently tried to offer Medivh his services for free but that just made Medivh even angrier at him.”

Lothar felt sick. He still felt that oppressive sense of dread, and had to ask, “What was his name?”

When Llane answered Lothar felt his knees buckle and he fell to the floor, a broken sob passing his lips, “Khadgar.”

Lothar didn’t say another word, he felt like he was going to throw up, and without even pausing to hang up the phone he crawled into the kitchen and threw up into the garbage can. He was sick until there was nothing left to come up, until he was just dry heaving and sobbing uncontrollably. He barely registered his front door being opened, and swung out a fist weakly when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Anduin, what’s wrong? Tell me.”

Lothar looked at his sister, hearing the compassion in her voice, compassion he felt he didn’t deserve. He noticed Llane behind her, and let out a broken sob.

“Lothar, please, I know you are angry because of what Medivh did, but this… I don’t understand,” Llane knelt down next to him, a concerned look on his face.

“It’s my fault. What Medivh did to Khadgar is my fault. I…”

Taria wrapped her arms around her brother, wishing she could find the words to try and tell him that this was in no way his fault.

It was Llane who spoke, though, “Lothar, no matter what you did or didn’t do, you didn’t make Medivh hurt the kid, you didn’t make him brutalize him.”

Lothar wanted to deny those words, and yet he knew he couldn’t. He slumped into Taria’s arms, silently crying in emotional anguish. Finally he turned his gaze to Llane, “I want to see him.”

Llane obviously misunderstood what Lothar meant and said, “Medivh is not allowed any visitors, Lothar.”

There was rage in Lothar’s eyes, in his voice when he spoke, “Not that sadistic piece of shit, I meant Khadgar. I want to see him.”

“I don’t think that would be wise, Lothar.”

“I don’t care. I want to see him, I need to see him. I need to… I need to apologize… I need to tell him how sorry I am… Please, Llane, I need to see him.”

In the end Llane gave in, but he wouldn’t take Lothar to go see Khadgar until after Lothar had showered and changed into fresh clothing. While he had gotten clean Taria had cleaned up the mess he had caused, and had shared a sad, if knowing, look with her husband. She knew how her brother was when he was in love. She remembered the breakdown he had suffered when Cally had died of cancer less than six months after she had given birth to their son. She remembered how lost and broken he had sounded, how he had looked, and by the way he said Khadgar’s name just proved how deeply he had fallen for the young man. She wasn’t sure how he and Khadgar had met, nor would she ever ask him, but she could tell that he loved the younger man.

The car ride to the hospital was silent. Lothar was trying so hard not to break down yet again, he needed to stay strong for Khadgar. He silently laughed bitterly at himself, acting this way over someone who probably didn’t care anything about him, and yet he needed to see Khadgar.

He almost ran down the hallways towards the room they were told Khadgar was in, walking with quick strides. There were cops outside the room, but when they saw Llane they stepped aside for Lothar and allowed him to enter. Khadgar looked horrible, he was wrapped in bandages and was hooked up to so much equipment that Lothar let out a startled gasp upon seeing him.

Khadgar had heard the door open, but assuming it was another doctor he hadn’t turned his head to look. At the gasp, though, he painfully turned his head and saw Lothar of all people standing just inside the room. He wanted to make Lothar leave, but the broken, haunted look in Lothar’s eyes stopped him.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wish I…”

Khadgar stopped him with a hand up, the movement making him grimace in pain, “You didn’t hurt me. You didn’t do this to me. It’s not your fault.”

“I left a mark… he… that bastard… that no good piece of garbage… he had no right…”

“Anduin… he would have found some other excuse… he’d been...” Khadgar paused as a coughing fit hit him, making him sob in pain. He saw Lothar move closer, almost close enough to touch but staying just out of reach, “He’d been more aggressive lately. I was planning… that was going to be the last time with him, I’d decided I couldn’t… that I was better than that.” He gave a small, pained smile, “You made me feel like I was better than that, that I deserved more. That I was worthy of… love.” And the last word is whispered, but Lothar can hear it clearly, as if Khadgar shouted it into his ears.

Cautiously he held out his hand and Khadgar took it, giving it a comforting squeeze, and Lothar felt a fresh wave of self-disgust fill him. Here Khadgar is comforting him when he should be the one comforting Khadgar. “Khadgar,” he whispered, and he doesn’t know what he wants to say, doesn’t know how to put into words what he’s feeling. “You are worthy.”

There are tears in Khadgar’s eyes when he finally speaks, and once more he squeezes Lothar’s hand, “I know that now. You have no idea what meeting you has done to me.” He closed his eyes, taking a shaky breath, “I wanted to make myself better for you, wanted to… wanted to be good enough for you. When you held me… just held me in your arms while we slept… no one has ever done that… I felt safe, I felt like I belonged… I didn’t want to leave you, but I knew I couldn’t stay.”

“I looked for you. Every night I went looking for you. I needed to see you, needed to find you, I wanted to… I barely know you and I already know I’m in love with you.”

Khadgar laughed bitterly at that, “Oh, Anduin. I wish I was worthy of your love. I wish I was good enough for you.”

Lothar leaned over him, placing a gentle kiss onto Khadgar’s forehead, “You are. I’ve never met someone more worthy than you, Khadgar.”

There were tears in both of their eyes when they heard someone clearing their throat behind them. Turning his head Lothar notices Llane standing in the doorway, looking a bit apologetic for interrupting their moment.

“I wanted to let you know that you have my fullest assurance that that monster will never come near you again.”

Khadgar wants to give Llane his thanks, but the other man has already turned and left the room. He turns his attention back towards Lothar, unasked questions in his eyes.

“My brother in law means it. If he swears something then it’s the truth.”

Khadgar bit his lip, an act that Lothar found strangely erotic, even with Khadgar as injured as he was. Lothar felt a bit sick at his minor bit of arousal at the act.

“He’s your brother in law?” Khadgar finally asked.

Lothar nodded, once more giving Khadgar’s hand a tiny squeeze. “I know I’m probably dumb for asking, but… when you are out of here, out of the hospital, I’d like you to move in with me. You don’t have to share my bed… you can have your own room… but I’d like it if you were with me.”

Khadgar felt fresh tears sting his eyes. “And what if I want to share your bed, what if I want you to hold me and nothing else?”

“Then I’ll hold you for as long as you want me to do so. I’ll hold you as tightly as you ask me to. I’ll take care of you, protect you, love you in whatever way you need me, in whatever way you want me to. I’ll never do anything to you that you don’t want me to.”

Khadgar licked his lips, staying silent for a moment before answering, “I’d like that. I think that sounds perfect. Is forever a short enough time for you?”

Lothar laughed, the sound seeming foreign to his ears.

-

Khadgar was released from the hospital a week later, and he did return to his small apartment, Lothar, Llane, and Taria in tow, to pack his meager belongings. Less than an hour after they had started they were finished and made their way to Lothar’s house. Taria and Llane helped them unpack Khadgar’s things before heading home, leaving Lothar and Khadgar alone.

That night Khadgar slept in Lothar’s arms, letting himself relish in the safety and security he felt when being held by the man. And when he woke from nightmares of what had happened to him Lothar just held him, rocking him tenderly, comforting him in a way Khadgar so desperately needed.

A few months later Callan came home for the summer, and while he found the arrangement between his father and Khadgar unusual he could see how much they loved each other. He’d never seen his father quite so happy in his entire life. So, while he didn’t understand their relationship, he didn’t try and interfere with it.

It wasn’t until a month or so after Callan had went back to college that Khadgar asked Lothar for more. In all the months since Khadgar had moved in with Lothar the most they had done was kiss, as neither of them were up to more. But Khadgar was a sexual being and he missed the physical, even if he adored the emotional side of their relationship.

Lothar made sure to take his time, made sure that Khadgar felt no pain, that he wasn’t in distress at all during their lovemaking.

Khadgar fell more and more in love with Lothar each day, and came to realize that he was worthy, that he was worth more than the life he had left behind. Though the nightmares were still a frequent, nightly occurrence, Khadgar knew they really couldn’t hurt him as long as Lothar was at his side.

They’d been together almost two years when the news that Medivh had been killed in prison reached them, and for the first time since Khadgar had been attacked he slept through the night without a nightmare.


End file.
